Juan Pablo

Has certainly become a topic of conversation.

Putting his foot in his mouth has been a regular occurrence on this season of The Bachelor.

Some of the backlash is deserved, but I do not believe that all of it is.

Yes, his anti-gay bachelor comments were thoughtless and incredibly insensitive. Deserving of backlash. Heaps and loads.

He should have deferred the question or just “no commented” the interviewer.

He is The Bachelor, not a political candidate. Why would we care about his views on world topics? He is The Bachelor!

Juan Pablo…

is who he is. He was chosen to be The Bachelor. His role is to date 25, or so, beautiful women. These are women that ABC hand-picks just for him. (Minus the few women that ABC chooses for the ratings-for the drama.)

He went on the show to date a harem of women, travel the world and hopefully find love.

ABC chose HIM.

ABC chose their lead. They chose a man that was good great looking, one that women were swooning over. They did not really take into consideration that English was his second language. That he is steeped in tradition. 

This show is about his journey to find love. No matter his education, his level of tactless honesty, the language barrier, or even his beliefs. You may not like what you are being shown on the screen, but whether you like him-or not-this is his adventure.

Juan Pablo…

is honest-to a fault.

(As much as he can be while staying within the parameters of the show’s premise.)

Imagine dating 3 people-that someone else chose for you. And you cannot stop dating them-yet-even if you know that the relationship is not going to go anywhere. What if you really cared for 1 of the 3 but you had to continue to date all 3. Do you think that you would treat them all the same? Would you just be “going through the motions” until you could stop dating them all?

This is the premise of the show. To date all of the women, even if you already know that there is only one lady you are really interested in. What if you know that you are not interested in a long term relationship with any of the women that ABC chose for you?

You can not tell them that you are not interested. You must play along, there are ratings to consider. Making sure that America tunes in the next week, suspenseful of who your chosen one will be.

The message boards and forums…

Have been extremely critical of Juan Pablo as The Bachelor. Stating that he is unintelligent, a dullard, boring, only there to: make-out, bed, hot tub with as many ladies as he can.

It has been indicated that he is a chauvinist. That he is only interested in himself.

But personally, although I find the season a bit boring, Juan Pablo is a breath of fresh air.

First, I do not believe that he wants to hurt anyone. At the Rose Ceremony, each week, he cries as he sends women home. He enjoys most of these women and he has empathy for their feelings. That is refreshing. Not only does he have feelings, he is not afraid to show it, in front of the women or the millions of viewers.

Second, during the “meet the family” hometown dates, he treated each family with respect. Even as they were harshly judging him, he accepted their thoughts and views without argument.

Thirdly, I do not think that he is clueless. He watches and absorbs more than the ladies know. All the contestants want to show Juan Pablo their best attributes. Understandably. Although he is not saying much it seems that he sees more than he is given credit for.

Fourth, he asks questions to get clarification. In the last episode he had concerns about one of Andi’s comments: “I want to fall in love so badly.” , was the comment he questioned. And rightfully so. Did she want to fall in love or did she want to find love with Juan Pablo?

Fifth, he does not want the drama. Or to argue just to argue. He is past all of that. When Andi came to him to tell him that she did not love him, he said “Ees Oh-kay”. At that point she should have picked up her bags and left. He would have been sad to see her go, then moved on with the 2 ladies that he had left. The ladies, that I believe, he has more feelings for.

But Andi could not let it go.

She harangued him. Like he was lying on the witness stand during one of her trials. On and on and on.

He was graciously allowing her to leave with her character intact.

But she could not let it go. Last week her father, whom she adores, questioned her feelings for Juan Pablo. Andi is a Daddy’s girl and Juan Pablo was not good enough. Then Juan Pablo questioned whether she loved him or if she just wanted to be “in love”.

So…she did not like the fact that Juan Pablo did not ask her questions about herself, that he did not really know her. Although she chose to spend time with him in the Fantasy Suite (an overnight portion of the date) it did not turn out as she would have liked- that she just “closed her eyes until it was over“.

Not once did she let Juan Pablo know that she did not like the way that he was treating her, that she felt disrespected.

The next morning she could not “wait to leave” the Fantasy Suite, and Juan Pablo, far behind.

This is where I am confused.

Juan Pablo thought that the date went great. They laughed for hours, had great repartee, he enjoyed the time that they spent together.

Andi-a fierce gun toting, bulls-eye shooting, female lawyer just laid there with her eyes closed and waited until it was over.

Does this even make sense?

Then she sits down with Juan Pablo to discus her feelings. (And I mean HER feelings.) He listened to what she had to say and commented “Ees Oh-kay”. No argument, no justification, no insults…just “Ees Oh-kay”.

His answer, these 2 small words, cause Andi to erupt. For her it is not okay. She proceeds to tell him he is an asshole. She did not like the way that he treated her, he was disrespectful, he talked about himself all night…To me, it seems like “He is not into you” and he was going through the motions. He was being obvious, letting her know she was not “the one” without telling her. Which is the premise of the show!

He sat there and let her argue with him. He agreed with her, allowing her to feel vindication, although she seemed to forget her role. She was 1 of 3 women left. She auditioned for a part on a dating show. She decided he was not the one for her-”Ees Oh-kay”-now climb into the limo and leave!

Juan Pablo did not attack her character. He did not call her out for her short-comings. He did not attempt to embarrass her in front of millions of viewers. With 2 small words, he released her.

How refreshing.

The word on the street…

Andi will be the next Bachelorette.

“Ay-Yi-Yi”!!!

I am not sure that this is a season that I want to watch. Andi confronting the contestants for their short-comings. And arguing and arguing and arguing.

This article from The Huffington Post, praises Andi for her actions, stating that “Last night, we were all Andi Dorfman.” I beg to differ. Although Juan Pablo may not be my ideal mate, I do not believe that Andi is either.

If she felt that she was being disrespected she should have spoken up, or she should have left the Fantasy Suite. But instead she stayed, and laughed and conversed, and canoodled with Juan Pablo all night long.

Choosing to blind-side him the next day.

Seriously?

Do not lump me into the Andi Dorfman clone pile. I am all for assessing things and changing my mind, woman’s prerogative, right? So, you decide that he is not right for you…then leave.